My Blessing (Beginning of the adoption journey)

Well I figured it is long overdue to write something about my “to be” son. After doing all the initial paperwork the end of last year, social welfare informed me that they had identified a child for me and that I could go meet him. It was an orphanage I had already visited and I had in fact seen him there before. I went to the orphanage and almost all the children swarmed around me fighting for my attention and affection. There was a young boy standing in the corner just observing all that was going on but he didn’t approach me. I went to go talk to the workers and ask about this child that social welfare had sent me to see. I told them his name, “Blessing” and they pointed out the child to me, it was the boy that had been standing in the corner just moments ago. I went back into the other room and there he was standing, sucking on the middle and ring finger on his left hand. (Something he does when he is tired and when he just wakes up) I just sat in the chair across the room from him and when the other kids went out to play, I called him over to me in Bemba (his language) and he came. I just held him for a while and talked to him even though I knew he didn’t understand most of what I was saying. I could tell he was guarded and probably reluctant to trust someone. But my goal that day was just for him to feel loved by me and to find out more about him if possible. As I prepared to leave, I hugged him and said I would come back to see him tomorrow. How I wished I could communicate adequately to him how happy I was and how much I already loved him.  The reality of this all was hitting me: soon I am going to be a mother. I was excited and terrified all at the same time. My mind was bombarded with so many thoughts! Can I really do this? Raise a child…a son at that as a single mother? How are we going to even communicate? Is he going to attach himself to me or remain distant? Am I ready? My mind was having a battle within. Because on one hand I had these thoughts bout on the other I knew that this was something God was calling me to do. I have known since I was 12 that I was called to adopt. And God so faithfully reminded me of the verse in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “ My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” And boy am I soooo aware of my weakness!! I needed those words of truth! And I was also reminded of a couple of quotes I once heard. The first, “God does not always call the equipped, he equips the called.” and “ God gives the grace to do what he has called us to do.” So, I was forced to look at what one of the most important questions:  “has God called me to do this?”

ANSWER: YES!!!  Sooo, that’s what I need to focus on. God has called me to adopt Blessing so his grace is sufficient to walk me through it all. In every moment of fear, every moment of struggle, in every moment I don’t know what to do, in every moment of joy, every moment of our language barrier, in every tear, in every hug, every kiss, every laugh…in every moment of every day…he is there.  I am not alone in this!! Thank you Lord!!

P.S. More Blessing stories to come J