June 13, 2011

June 13, 2011

Last week was one of the most difficult weeks I have had since I have been in Zambia. On Monday in the middle of teaching science there was a knock on my classroom door. When I went to open it I saw that one of the other teachers was there and she asked me to step into the hall. She then proceeded to say; “ I have some bad news…Susan has just passed” I was in a state of shock and disbelief. (Susan was our head teacher and the founding teacher of the school. She had been sick since January and unable to teach since that time) I began to cry in the dark corner of the hallway and then I was told that we now need to tell the children. Susan had taught 2^nd grade so most of my pupils had her last year. As I was attempting to compose myself the other teacher encouraged me to be strong for the children. I was thinking to myself, how will I tell them, what’s the best way? Before I “figured it out” she took me into the classroom and told them all for me. They were as shocked I was. I sat at the back of the room wiping the tears as they gently fell down my face but there was no hiding my sorrow. Most of the kids continued working on their class work but I didn’t want them to ignore what had just happened. I quietly went around the room collecting the science workbooks still unable to hide my tears. They were all studying my face very carefully as I passed by them. I then went to the front of the room and just talked about how I know how much each of them loved Aunt Susan and that we will all miss her. I talked about how she was so sick and suffering when she was still here with us. I told them that she is now in Heaven with God and has no more pain. I told them it’s hard for us that are still here but she is in a better place now. I told them its ok to be sad, its ok to cry because we loved her and we will miss her. It’s always a hard thing when someone we love passes.

I wasn’t prepared for what happened next but I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. One by one each of the children began to cry. Some softly without a sound, others a wailing that came from deep within them. The wailings grew louder and more and more of them began sobbing and morning. I have never seen children morning before and it was almost too much for me. I wanted to just embrace them all and hold them and comfort them all. That day I think I had about 26 or 27 in class and I think all but 2 were crying. I started with the ones that seemed the most affected and went up to them individually and just held them, rubbing their back. As I made my way around the room, my shirt and skirt became more and more soaked with their tears. I tried but I couldn’t hold back my tears any more. So we wept together and though it was a hard time we bonded on such a deeper level. The most touching moment for me was as I was comforting them they too began to comfort one another. Amongst their own tears they would rise from their seats and pick up a friend who had fallen to the ground weeping and would hold them, drying their tears..comforting each other so tenderly and sincerely. One of my boys was sobbing uncontrollably and as I was making myself over to him one of the other boys walked over to him and was using his own shirt to dry his tears. This day will be forever etched in my mind. I am reminded of the verse in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 which reads, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comforts, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comforts we ourselves have received from God.”