July 18, 2011

I received this devotion via email some time back and it was very challenging to me and wanted to share it with those of you who take the time to read my blog.

John 15:5 - I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing."

“There are those who feel that they must be constantly laboring for the Lord in order to meet God's high standards. Jesus gave a clear picture of what our relationship to Him ought to be like. He is the vine, the source of our life. We are the branches, the place where fruit is produced. As we receive life from Christ, the natural, inevitable result is that fruit is produced in our lives.

In our zeal to produce "results" for our Lord, we sometimes become so intent on fruit production that we neglect abiding in Christ. We may feel that "abiding" is not as productive or that it takes too much time away from our fruit production. Yet Jesus said that it is not our activity that produces fruit, it is our relationship with Him.

Jesus gave an important warning to His disciples. He cautioned that if they ever attempted to live their Christian life apart from an intimate relationship with Him, they would discover that they ceased to produce any significant results. They might exert great effort for the kingdom of God, yet when they stopped to account for their lives, they would find only barrenness. One of the most dramatic acts Jesus ever performed was cursing a fig tree that had failed to produce fruit. Are you comfortable in abiding, or are you impatient to be engaged in activity? If you will remain steadfastly in fellowship with Jesus, a great harvest will be the natural by-product.”

In addition, it is important to remember that fruit takes time to be produced and to mature. Lets remember that when we are tempted to grow impatient with our children, our spouse and even ourselves. Why do we make something so “simple” so hard? All we need to do is abide in Christ!! Yet WE want to focus on fruit production. The works we do outside of what comes from abiding in Christ will not stand the test, they will be done in our own strength and thus burn up. Matthew 7:16-20 reads, “ By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.” So what “fruit” are we producing? You can staple “good fruit” to your branches but very soon it will be clear that this fruit was manufactured and did not come from the fruit abiding in the vine. Stop focusing on the fruit and focus on abiding..the fruit will come. As is says in Galatians 5:22, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.” If your abiding in the vine you and others will see these in your life. And if your not seeing them, cry out to God and again..ABIDE in him!!

July 5, 2011

I was awake early into the morning just thinking about the situations a lot of the children and even adults go through here in Zambia and I was in tears over it and crying out to the Lord. The poverty, the suffering and injustice I see can sometimes be seemingly too much for me. Injustice is one of the things that grieves and angers me the most. I know that it is ok to be angry, even Jesus was angry but in his anger he did not sin. I spent time crying out to God asking him to give me the right perspective on it all. I began reading in Psalm and came across verses that I could not read without crying. It spoke so specifically to what was on my mind and to the situations of many in this country. .

The first was Psalm 10:8-18: “He lies in wait near the villages; from ambush he murders the innocent, watching in secret for his victims. He lies in wait like a lion in cover; he lies in wait to catch the helpless, he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net. His victims are crushed, they collapse; they fall under his strength. He says to himself, ‘God has forgotten; he covers his face and never sees.’ Arise, Lord! Lift up your hand, O God. Do not forget the helpless. Why does the wicked man revile God? Why does he say to himself, ‘He won’t call me to account’ But you, O God, do see troubles and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless. Break the arm of the wicked and evil man; call him to account for his wickedness that would not be found out. The Lord is King for ever and ever; the nations will perish from his land. You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed in order that man, who is of the earth may terrify no more.”

The second verse was Psalm 12:5, “Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise, says the Lord. I will protect them from those who malign them.”

God really used these verses to remind me that he has not forgotten them, that he is the helper to the fatherless and to the oppressed, he hears the cries of their heart and will encourage them and rise up to protect them. We live in an evil world full of sin and darkness. My prayer is that of verse 15, “break the arm of the wicked and evil man; call him to account for his wickedness that would not be found out.” I pray that God would use me to encourage those suffering and oppressed and that I would be able to point them to Christ. I pray that the seeds of bitterness would not take root and that all can be used redemptively in their own lives and to help others who have or are walking through the same things. May they not lose hope..may they find refuge and protection in the arms of their Heavenly Father.

June 13, 2011

June 13, 2011

Last week was one of the most difficult weeks I have had since I have been in Zambia. On Monday in the middle of teaching science there was a knock on my classroom door. When I went to open it I saw that one of the other teachers was there and she asked me to step into the hall. She then proceeded to say; “ I have some bad news…Susan has just passed” I was in a state of shock and disbelief. (Susan was our head teacher and the founding teacher of the school. She had been sick since January and unable to teach since that time) I began to cry in the dark corner of the hallway and then I was told that we now need to tell the children. Susan had taught 2^nd grade so most of my pupils had her last year. As I was attempting to compose myself the other teacher encouraged me to be strong for the children. I was thinking to myself, how will I tell them, what’s the best way? Before I “figured it out” she took me into the classroom and told them all for me. They were as shocked I was. I sat at the back of the room wiping the tears as they gently fell down my face but there was no hiding my sorrow. Most of the kids continued working on their class work but I didn’t want them to ignore what had just happened. I quietly went around the room collecting the science workbooks still unable to hide my tears. They were all studying my face very carefully as I passed by them. I then went to the front of the room and just talked about how I know how much each of them loved Aunt Susan and that we will all miss her. I talked about how she was so sick and suffering when she was still here with us. I told them that she is now in Heaven with God and has no more pain. I told them it’s hard for us that are still here but she is in a better place now. I told them its ok to be sad, its ok to cry because we loved her and we will miss her. It’s always a hard thing when someone we love passes.

I wasn’t prepared for what happened next but I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. One by one each of the children began to cry. Some softly without a sound, others a wailing that came from deep within them. The wailings grew louder and more and more of them began sobbing and morning. I have never seen children morning before and it was almost too much for me. I wanted to just embrace them all and hold them and comfort them all. That day I think I had about 26 or 27 in class and I think all but 2 were crying. I started with the ones that seemed the most affected and went up to them individually and just held them, rubbing their back. As I made my way around the room, my shirt and skirt became more and more soaked with their tears. I tried but I couldn’t hold back my tears any more. So we wept together and though it was a hard time we bonded on such a deeper level. The most touching moment for me was as I was comforting them they too began to comfort one another. Amongst their own tears they would rise from their seats and pick up a friend who had fallen to the ground weeping and would hold them, drying their tears..comforting each other so tenderly and sincerely. One of my boys was sobbing uncontrollably and as I was making myself over to him one of the other boys walked over to him and was using his own shirt to dry his tears. This day will be forever etched in my mind. I am reminded of the verse in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 which reads, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comforts, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comforts we ourselves have received from God.”

May 28, 2011

Last Monday I decided to walk into town from school instead of taking a taxi. I will do this from time to time to just pray, think and interact with the people that are always walking along the streets. I was on the phone with my mom when a taxi driver stopped and asked if I needed a ride, I said how much to Kansenshi (the area I live) He was trying to charge me 30% more than what it should cost, so of course I refused and continued walking, even after he said, “ok, madam, lets go” As I turned the corner, I saw one of the street boys I have seen time and time again wandering the streets of town. This is the 1^st time we interacted and as I was talking to my mom our eyes locked and he just put his hand on his stomach. I of course knew what that meant and motioned him to follow me. I told my mom briefly about him and told her I needed to get off the phone so I could get him some food. He walked with me, well a few steps behind me as we approached a small take away restaurant. I went in to get a menu and when I turned around to ask him what he wanted realized that he didn’t enter. I went back outside and found him standing in the little alleyway next to the restaurant. I motioned him to come and pointed to chicken and chips and asked if he wanted that. He shook his head yes. I told him to follow me and we got a table and I placed the order. I soon found out that he spoke almost no English. He knows how to answer when I asked his name and age..that is it. I found out his name was Joseph and he is 11 years old. When the waitress came I asked her to interpret for me. I asked him where he stays, who he lives with etc. I found out that he lives with his grandmother in one of the compounds, Cenia, which is close to the school I teach at. I found out that both his parents have died and that he use to be sponsored but the people who use to sponsor him stopped. I asked if he wanted to go to school and he said he really did. I told him that I would like to pay for him to go back to school and to meet me in the morning so I could take him. He was very happy. At this point, it was already dark out so I called a taxi, I had the taxi driver take us to one of the entrances to the compound so that Joseph would not have to walk so far. The next morning I took a friend with me to translate and waited at the bus stop for over an hour, he never showed up... so I sent her home. I was discouraged and decided to walk to school to pray and with the hope of seeing him as I walked even though I knew it was not likely. I was praying and after about 5 minutes just started praying in the Spirit. I stopped momentarily and just closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes and looked ahead, I did a double take, it was Joseph; he was in the middle of the road, crossing the street to meet me. I was in shock, disbelief and excited all at the same time. I immediately called my friend and she arrived about 15 minutes later to translate. We escorted Joseph to the school and went to the office to meet with the school director and caseworker. They knew him and come to find out they have been trying to get him to come in for over 2 years. The case worker went to meet with the grandmother later in the day, after he finished some other work and spent time verifying the facts and getting the full story.

Wednesday was a public holiday and our church was hosting a cookout with all traditional African foods..including caterpillars and African game meat. And yes I ate it all and have the picture to prove it. Well I had invited Joseph to come and told him to meet me at the bus stop at 10am. I took my housemate with me and we waited at the bus stop for over 2 hours. Again my heart was discouraged but I just gave it to the Lord..not knowing why he didn’t show was the hardest part. Was he sick, (he had complained of a headache the day before), was he on the streets again, was is grandmother ill, did he over sleep, was he afraid, had he lied about wanting to go to school? I decided to go visit the compound with my friend, we walked around for a little over an hour looking for him and asking if anyone knew him. We never did find him but I had a great time wandering the unnamed dirt roads between the homes made from the same dirt. The amount of children I saw was amazing, they followed us and were so eager to come up and greet us and follow us around. As we were leaving I saw a group of boys, about 6 or 7 of them making mud bricks. They were only about 8 or 9 years old but were working so hard. I decided to go up and tell them what a great job they were doing. As I entered the plot they were so excited to show me and tell me all about what they were doing. I kiddingly said, “are you going to build me a house here?” They just laughed and said, “yes we will!!” Then I asked for the shovel and said I want to make some bricks. They had a mold for forming the bricks to my rights and a pile of mud in front of me. I started lifting the mud and filling the mold, packing it in carefully..I had no idea if I was doing it right or not..ha. When I finished I went to hand the shovel back to one of the boys and he said no, there is another mold there and pointed and said I should do another…ha ha. I gladly continued…and I didn’t realize till I was finished but a small crowd had gathered to watch the crazy white lady make mud bricks. Once I handed the shovel back to the boys, one of them asked for the equivalent of 20 cents. I gave each of the boys a little money and as I did this one of the ladies from the crowd said,, “what craziness is this? She is paying you and she is the one making the bricks? “ We all just laughed. I would have spent the whole day there if I didn’t have somewhere to go. I absolutely loved it. One of these days I will spend a day making bricks with them and will remember to bring my camera.

The next ay I found out that late that night Charles, the caseworker had met up with Joseph. The grandmother wants to meet me and talk with me. Friday after work we went to the house but no one was home. It was deep in the compound and took a long time to get there, we got lost a time or two but eventually found it. I even ran into some of my pupils and some of the other kids from the school. They were surprised to see me and very excited. When we got the Josephs house, it was heartbreaking to see the condition of the house. I can’t even adequately describe it in words. Well, no one was home and the neighbors said they went to town to beg. The grandmother is old and had a fall a while back so has problems with her legs and feet and has to use a cane to walk. We will attempt a visit after school on Monday; please pray we find them this time.

Something I am realizing as time goes on here is that God is giving me a strong burden and heart for street boys, I have a feeling my ministry here EVENTUALLY is going in that direction. Even before I met Joseph, I visited a place in the capital city, which has an outreach program to street boys. They offer shelter, food, counseling and just a safe place to be. A guy who use to be a street boy runs it. I was moved deep within as I interacted with these teen boys. I will be praying that God continues to direct my steps and give me wisdom in this matter and as I seek the counsel of those around me. For now, he is bringing street boys to the school. I think we have at least 5 now and I know the number will continue to grow. Keep this in your prayers!! God is at work!!

May 27, 2011

I have been enjoying teaching this term and am really seeing the kids start to show more interest in learning. It’s an exciting thing to see. I am now doing extra lessons on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays after we finish school. (from 4-5pm.) On the 1^st two days I focus on English, grammar, copying from the board and handwriting. On Thursdays I focus on math. I have been having groups of 10-12 each day; it is really paying off by the grace of God! One thing I also implemented was “teachers helpers” during these tutoring sessions. My helpers will assist me as I teach, walking around as I teach and letting me know how the others are doing and even helping their fellow classmates. My helpers are pupils that are strong in the certain area I am teaching and I will usually have 2-3 each time. I did this for two reasons, one, during class it is difficult to give a lot of one on one attention, there is one of me and 30 of them and also because I was noticing a strong reluctance and even refusal to be helped by anyone but me. For math particularly, it is crucial that I mark their books during class to ensure they have grasped the concepts and its fresh in their minds, otherwise I would have a lot of kids behind and could not move on to the new lesson the following day. So what I do is I mark their books and have them return to their seats to make the corrections. If I have a long line of kids waiting to still me marked for the 1^st time I will call on my “math helpers” to assist. I want them to know it’s ok to make mistakes and that it’s ok to get help from others. And this also builds leadership skills in those helping and is just another training ground for building all their characters.

Last Friday was the bible verse test..EVERY child memorized the verse perfectly!! I was so blessed and so proud of them. I am sure the piece of candy I offered for this “extra credit” played a big part but regardless they are learning and memorizing scripture. And most of them do not read, some have no one at home that can read and some speak very little English..so this is no small thing. I was sooooo proud of them.

In English class on Thursday they were learning about the proper use of “a” and “an” in the English language. I had about 12 of them crowded around me as was marking their books. I finished marking one of the boy’s books and passed it back to him. I heard him say, “TEACHER!!” in a discouraged and disappointed manner. I was still “caught up” in marking the next child’s work when I heard one of the girls say, “teacher, look at _________, he is crying” I immediately knew what the issue was. I had the 11 move so I could get out of my chair and go to him. I knelt on the floor next to his chair. He was laying his head on his desk, looking at his exercise book and he wouldn’t look at me. I called his name and told him to look at me, he didn’t budge..So I just started rubbing his back and called his name again. He looked at me and the tears poured from his eyes…I continued rubbing his back and asked him, “who makes mistakes” Through the tears he quietly said, “Everyone” I said, ”you are exactly right!” Then I said, “who is perfect” Again he responded correctly, “Only God” I sent a few more minutes encouraging him and when I looked up, most of the class was surrounding us, observing what had just transpired. I went back to my seat, continued marking books and after 2 more tries he did his work correctly. Even at a young age they put so much pressure on themselves and expect perfection from themselves. I pray God will use me to help them grow in this area and that he will help me to not get caught up in what I am doing and what I think is important and miss these discipleship moments.

May 9-16, 2011

It’s hard to believe that 4 weeks have gone by and that today was the 1^st day back at school. I got a “wake up call” this morning from one of the morning teachers saying, “you better come in now, your kids have come early!” HA..they came 3 hours early!! I guess they are excited as I am to be back! Well we are still waiting to shift to the new school building (should be moving in June) so there were no classrooms available for me to use. So I had each of the kids grab a chair and we went outside under the shade of one of the trees and had a lovely 1^st day. I love my kiddos more and more each day and am glad to see them excited to learn. It brings me such joy to see their smiling faces each day, to embrace them, to see them running up the hill to school to greet me and help me carry my bags in the morning, to have them eagerly help clean and prepare the room for class, to have them linger in my presence wanting my attention instead of choosing to go outside and play on break, to have them escort me to the road to catch a taxi and yell, “bye teacher, bye, see you tomorrow” until the car is out of site. God has really given me his heart for these kids and I am so thankful to be used by him to make a difference in their lives.

I have been struggling a lot with one pupil in particular since last term. She has had no motivation or desire to learn. She would not participate in class and all her work would be incomplete and the work she did do was often incorrect. My initial response was to become frustrated and I was thinking, “I don’t know what to do, nothing is working with her” Then one night in an almost audible voice I heard God say, “Have you prayed for her” Wow, how convicted I was that I was not doing the one thing she and I needed most! So that night I spent time praying for her in faith that God would break through and do a work in her heart as well is in my own heart. That he would give her a desire to learn and that he would give me patience and wisdom. The very next day I saw an amazing breakthrough!!! I was nearly in tears. Its like she was a new girl!! She was copying everything from the board neatly and even though there were many mistakes, she was writing everything when before she would write maybe 1-2 sentences even after I told her at least 3-5 times to keep working. I started a new thing with the kids as well this term, a weekly memory verse. I can remember in grade school that we had a bible verse for each letter of the alphabet so I had my mom send me the letter charts for the verses I learned as a kid. The 1^st one, Letter A is “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23. I explained to the kids the meaning of the verse..reminding them of the saying I have them repeat in class on almost a daily basis..ME: “Who makes mistakes?” THEM: “Everyone!!” ME: “Who is perfect?” Them: “God.” I was so excited to see their eagerness to memorize the word of God, I had them write the verse on a small slip of paper and put it in their shirt pockets to practice. One of the girls came up to me and said in Bemba, the local dialect, “I can’t read and no one in my house can read so how will I learn this? “ I told her I would help her and she can practice on the lunch breaks with the other kids. That day 4 girls stayed after to work on memorizing the verse. One of the girls was the girl I had prayed for the night before, more than anything she wanted to memorize the verse and after about 30 minutes or so the 4 of them knew the verse. As I was preparing to leave all I could do was smile because the halls and the front yard of the school were echoing with the young voices reciting Romans 3:23 over and over again, “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God”

April 7, 2011

Well, today was the last day of term two for my kiddos. It’s hard to believe that I won’t see them for a month, it kills me. I honestly can’t imagine not having them in my life; God has been good to knit our hearts together so quickly. I was sitting just observing them as they worked on their math review work and just thanking God for them. I was thinking of all that has transpired in my life thus far and how it was all training ground and preparation for this time in my life. I am living my dream, a dream that I feared would never come to fruition. God is so good!! It is easy to question God and doubt his promises in the difficult times but he is a God that does not change. His plans are to prosper us and not to harm us. Even the storms and hardships of life, the sin of others God uses. This life is like our classroom and it is full of quizzes and exams. I have always had an inward struggle with verses such as, “consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature, not lacking in anything.” (James 1:2-3) That was always one of those verses I would read quickly and say yeah, yeah ok but never truly believed. God has really changed my perspective and it has changed even who I am. Just like a student must study in preparation for the quizzes and test that they must take to pass a class. You must strive to do you best and its true you will struggle and even fail at times but even that is to be part of the lesson. Maybe you need to change the way you are preparing or training. Maybe you need a study partner or a new study partner. Sometimes those we study with are more of a distraction than a help. And the teacher is always there to help and wants to see us do well. It’s easy sometime to think, gosh this teacher is hard on us and gives us too much work but it’s for our good. And in the end when we do well on our final and do well in the class we see the teacher in a different light. Anyway, its just a thought but I am thankful for the perspective change and I can now more fully give thanks in all circumstances and especially more so in the “trials”. And I always try to remember Gods promises such as in Jeremiah 29:11, “ I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” God is good!

Oh and I just have to share the about the end of the day, all my kids escorted me up to where I catch the taxi to go home. What a sight and sound that was..ha. Anyways, they were all fighting over who would carry my bags and hold my hands..too bad I only have 2 hands. J The taxi parked on the side of the road and my boys packed the trunk with my bags then they ALL(about 20 out of 30) were embracing me at once. It was hard to stay balanced and it was a bit emotional, they were hugging me like they would never see me again. After about 5 minutes I was like its time for me to go, I love you all!!! They said we don’t want to go on break, we love you, we will miss you and as I got into the taxi they all reached out to grab my hand. The taxi began pulling away, which was packed full of people, and my little mob of rugrats chased us down the road until we reached a speed they could not keep up with. Ah, that touched my heart so deeply. These kids have changed so much in just 3 months; they are really opening up on a new level emotionally. It’s amazing how kids respond to love. But you know, I have changed as well. Like I said before..GOD IS GOOD!!!